How to stop saying um

First, count them

Most people have no idea how often they say "um". Some are sure they say it constantly and barely do; others would swear they never do and say it ten times a minute. Before trying to fix anything, record two minutes of yourself explaining something and count.

Filler words worth counting: um, uh, er, ah, hmm, "you know", "I mean", "sort of", "kind of". We leave out "like" and "so" on purpose. They're usually ordinary words ("a talk like this", "so we shipped it"), and counting every one gives you a number you can't trust.

Why you say it

An "um" isn't a sign of weakness. It's your brain holding the floor while it finds the next word, a signal that says "I'm not finished". That's why ums cluster in two places:

• At transitions, when you know what you just said but not what comes next.
• At the start, when nerves are highest and your opening line isn't nailed down.

Replace it with a pause

Trying to just not say um rarely works; the gap has to be filled with something. Fill it with silence instead. A one-second pause does the same job as an "um" (it gives you time to think), but to the audience it sounds deliberate and confident.

Practise it directly: say a sentence, stop, take one breath, then start the next one. It will feel very long to you. On a recording it sounds normal, and usually better.

Know your transitions

Because ums cluster where you don't know what's next, the biggest single fix is knowing the order of your points. You don't need every word memorised. You need to know that after the numbers comes the story, and after that the risk. A short line that bridges them ("so why did that happen?") gives you a ready-made first sentence for each section.

Nail the first two sentences

Write your opening word for word and say it until it's automatic. The first ten seconds are when nerves peak, and an "um" there sets the tone. Once you're through the opening on autopilot, your body settles.

Scripted speakers say zero

We measured five famous speeches with the same counter: Reagan, JFK twice, Eisenhower and FDR. Every one had zero filler words. Not because those men never said "um" in conversation, but because the speeches were written down and rehearsed. Preparation, not talent, is what gets the count to zero.

A realistic target

Zero is a fine target for a scripted talk. For anything unscripted (Q&A, a meeting, an interview), under about 3 a minute is a good goal. Track the number across rehearsals: watching it fall is the motivation.